Loving Nobody
by Melodine
Summary: OC/Saix He wanted his heart. So he could love her...the way she loved him. R&R, plz!


**Loving Nobody**

**Disclaimer: **No matter how much I want to jump up and scream, "YES. KINGDOM HEARTS ISH MINE!" I am sorry to say that it belongs to Square Enix who created the awesome game.

** A/N:** No flaming please. I am aware that many love OrgXIII yaoi pairings. I don't exactly support yoai, but I tolerate it, at the very least. This story was inspired by GaiaOnline, where my friend owns the kitsusagi version of Saix. He and my kitsusagi Ayako are kinda of like...mates, so yeah, I got addicted to the couple, even creating human Ayako. And also, I got inspired to write this story! Enjoy

* * *

The two sat in silence as they watched the sun make its descent, the sky darkening to orange and pinkish hues. It was beautiful, and she wished it could last forever, wish she could make time stop. _Because if time goes on, you won't be beside me.__Anymore._ She closed her eyes, letting her head rest on his shoulder, feeling them slowly heave and relax into a sigh. It was still uncanny, she mused, and rather frightening from the start to realize she couldn't hear his heartbeat, no matter how much she tried. She had gotten used to it, of course, but still.

The reality of it always hit her when there was an absence of a heart pounding in her ears when she leant on him. That he was a Nobody. And that both of them…were simply not meant to be. The empath knew that, could sense that, he had no emotions. But she knew that he cared for her at the very least.

And her?

Dammit, she loved him.

It was stupid of her, she knew, to love someone with no heart. It was probably the most foolish thing she had ever done in her whole life. Many a time, she, and him too, wanted to go their separate ways, to prevent her from getting hurt, he had once said. But somehow, they always drifted back together. She had joked that they must have shared a Paopu fruit without knowing it; it always seemed that their destinies were intertwined.

_I'm ready to get hurt anyway. _She had told him. It was like a sin, wasn't it? To love a Nobody, a being with no emotion. She knew, somehow, someday, she would be punished. She had even cried, alone in her bed, when she thought of it, thinking that it was unfair. So unfair to her that one day, she would bear the punishment for their relationship. In the end, she had pondered over it with a clear mind, and was determined to face it. _I could never leave him._ She had learnt this after their experiences of trying to break up.

"What if I told you," He suddenly broke into her thoughts. "If I could regain my heart?"

Her head jerked up in slight surprise. They both never mentioned about him being "heartless" when they were together, although they were well aware of the fact. He did tell her, very briefly, about the doings of the Organization, that they were a group trying to regain their hearts. But Ayako had always felt a sinking feeling in hers whenever he mentioned that yet another of their members was eliminated. Who was the latest one? Xaldin, was it? She had never known any of them, but she had mourned for all of them silently. It was a little…unfair to them. The master of the Keyblade should understand this. They were just beings trying to regain their hearts…even though what they were doing was not entirely acceptable, but she still didn't feel they deserved to be wiped out from existence.

Or maybe it was because she was attached to one of them that she was feeling this way.

Her breath came out in a sigh. "I like you the way you are."

He shifted, his arm moving to pull her closer into his embrace and she snuggled into his arms, burying her face in the soft folds of his coat, letting her rest there in contentment. "Kingdom Hearts is almost…complete." It meant, of course, they were only one step closer to regaining their hearts…well, they meaning what was left of the Organization. She remained silent, but he could almost hear her pout. He didn't understand why she wasn't reacting the way he thought she would; happy that he would be complete, be a whole person again.

"It means," He continued, tracing one of the small golden wing tattoo on her back with a gloved finger. "I can…love you." Didn't she want that? Almost immediately, he felt her jerk away from him, her turquoise eyes looking at his golden ones with a mixture of surprise and slight fear.

"No." She whispered, narrowing her eyes at him as she stood up abruptly, and then turned to stare out towards the horizon as she wrapped her arms around herself. She just…didn't have a good feeling about this. _Or do you just not want him to leave you? _A small voice emerged from her befuddled thoughts, asking her. Maybe. She closed her eyes, willing herself to stay strong. Maybe she didn't want him to leave when she was sleeping. Everytime she wanted to stay awake, because that meant he wouldn't be by her side when she awoke. And everytime, she hadn't managed to. "Don't go. …Please." She turned to face him, as he stood up, his face emotionless, like it usually was. _I don't want you to go. I want you to stay._

"I don't…" A lump rose in her throat and she swallowed it, ignoring the emotional conflict within her. "Care. I don't need you to love me. I know you already care for me, and that's enough." There were a lot of questions zooming through her mind, and a few haunted her. What if he got his heart and forgot about her? And what if, what if…

He didn't love her?

It hurt her to even ask herself that question, even though on the outside, she fixed him with an impassive stare. A slight smirk rose on his lips and he looked incredulous. "You're making no sense." Didn't all women want the same in a relationship, to love and love in return? However corny that sounded.

But Ayako was different after all.

Why else, of all people, had he become…attached to her? Why did he always return to her side even if they had decided to go their separate ways the previous day? He was a Nobody. He was supposed to have no emotions, to feel nothing, and yet a mere woman could somehow draw him to her.

"Just…don't go, okay?" She muttered, tearing her eyes away from the intense gaze he was giving her. A normal woman would have probably started tearing by now, he mused, but her cheeks were dry, no sign of any teardrops. That was what, he supposed, set her apart from the others and probably why he was attracted to her. _If the Organization ever knew… _He wondered, a slight raise of his eyebrows. None of them ever suspected there was someone who meant something to him, let alone a girl. They would find it hard to believe, he was sure.

"I have to go." He said firmly, placing a hand on her shoulder as he made a gesture with the other to open a portal. He had to go look in on Kairi after all, and of course, be back before the Superior suspected anything. True, he had been loyal enough to be treated as second in command, but any wrong moves would cause all his efforts to go to waste. Not now, especially, when Kingdom Hearts was almost whole. A wave of his hand and a Berserker appeared. "It will protect you." There was no knowing if anyone would try to take her to get to him, though he highly doubted that anyone could. Ayako could put up a good fight, he knew.

She turned, watching him disappear into the darkness, but made no move to restrain him. She knew she couldn't stop him although her fists clenched at her sides, almost wanting to reach out and grab his arm. But she couldn't. "Saix." She called out to the berserker, a small smile flickering on her face as he stared at her in question.

"I...love you."

* * *

The next moment, he was in the Castle That Never Was, walking to the cell where the prisoner was. _She loved him. _This prodded at his mind constantly. He knew, she felt something special for him, but he had been rather uncertain about it. How could she really love a Nobody after all? 

Until now.

It was the first time she had said it, and it somehow confused him. Ayako wasn't one to speak of her feelings; she usually expressed them in different ways. Why now, had she said those words?

He reached the cell, and paused these thoughts, dismissing them for later as he stopped in front of it. Kairi was clutching the bars of the cell, giving him a rather frightened and confused look. "What are you going to do with us?"

Hmph. She didn't know? Such an ignorant, little kid. "You're the fire that feeds Sora's anger." He simply replied, then turned to walk away.

* * *

He approached the Superior, who was at his usual position, staring up at the moon at The Altar of Naught. 

"Saix." The silver haired Nobody spoke, turning to glance at him briefly. "Namine's missing."

Number Seven couldn't help but give a slight growl at this. He suspected where the little witch had gone, and it wasn't good. Why the hell was she doing this? Summoning up two Berserkers, he went to intercept them. It was so easy to guess where they were going.

He appeared right in front of the two girls. "Namine… there you are."

"Namine…?" Kairi echoed, looking to the girl that stood beside her. It was obvious the redhead was clueless that the one helping her was her Nobody, something he found rather amusing.

"Kairi, I'm afraid leaving is not an option." She was part of the plan. And if the plan went well…_Ayako_. He thought briefly, her face flashing across his thoughts. He offered his hand to her. "I'll take you to see Sora." And feed the Keyblade Master's fury. His golden eyes flickered upwards to the moon then went back to stare at them both.

She stepped backward, looking like she was about to resist. Please. He bit back a smirk. Did she really think that she could go against him and a Nobody? She was but a weak little girl. However, it reminded him of the woman he had left before, or was it that she was still on his mind? She was different. He told himself. She had resisted him before, but she had the power and determination too. Different. "You don't want that?" He asked, a raise of an eyebrow.

"I do. More than anything." She hesitated, and then her eyes grew firm. "But not with you around." She went into a fighting stance with Namine, challenging him to take them on.

"If I had a heart, this would be where I would die of laughter." Saix remarked, rolling his eyes. This was going to be too easy. Something sounded behind him, and he turned, watching the cloaked figure take down one of the Berserkers with a single slash to the back.

"You…" His eyes traveled to the weapon the other was holding with a frown. "Didn't Roxas take care of you?" That was long ago, however, but the Key of Destiny had assured them he had defeated Riku.

"You can take it from here, Riku." Namine spoke. Huh. It figured. She was relying on him to fight.

"Riku?" Kairi echoed. It seemed like she was doing a lot of that. _Poor girl is really clueless. _He did wonder why she had become Sora's friend, but that was their business.

The weapon in Riku's hand disappeared in a small flash of light and he bent slightly, creating a ball of dark fire to shoot at Saix. The Luna Diviner crossed his arms over his face and did a backwards flip, avoiding the attack, but then, Riku had rushed at him pinning him against the wall.

Did Riku really think he could stop him like that though? A smirk crossed Saix's face as a hand made contact with the smooth surface, darkness spreading from where he had touched and disappeared into the portal.

Now on to find Sora.

He reappeared in the Hall of Empty Melodies, staring down at where the Keyblade Master and his two friends were. "Sora. You've done well." The boy seemed not to know where he was, looking sideways in puzzlement before realizing he was above him.

"Where's Kairi?" Sora demanded.

"Who knows? I expect she's catching up with her friend from the darkness." Taunt him. Tease him. Infuriate him.

"What do you mean?"

"She doesn't need you anymore." Saix waved a hand dismissively.

"I'm supposed to believe that?"

"Well…you don't have to…" He raised his arms in a slight shrug. "But you can believe this. Organization XIII has no further use of you. Just look there." He pointed towards the moon, where he knew was gleaming; he could feel its power. "Our Kingdom Hearts…"

"Thanks to you, we've collected countless hearts. Can you hear their euphoria?"

"Now all they need is one more helping from the Keyblade bearer!" He spoke this fiercely, and with a click of his fingers, Heartless emerged to surround the three. With a smile on his face, he went to report to Xemnas.

"Xemnas. Is Kingdom Hearts ready?" He might have seemed impatient, but it was all because of a reason, something, someone no one else knew about.

"Very soon."

"Then I can end this charade?"

"Indeed." Xemnas turned to face him.

He smirked evilly. "How I've waited to hear that."

* * *

The footsteps announced their presence and he turned, tearing his gaze from the moon to face them. "Only you could have made it this far in one piece…Roxas." Yes, he knew his name was Sora. But it was amusing to tease the Keyblade bearer, especially when he didn't seem to know that Roxas was his Nobody. 

"That's really getting old!" Sora shot back, looking confused. Many of the Organization, Saix knew, had called him by the same name.

"Yeah, he's Sora!" The duck snapped, as he and the dog moved forward, seemingly wanting to protect Sora with both hands outstretched.

Saix lifted his claymore, staring at his weapon before he gave it with a violent twist of his wrist, the spikes emerging from the end. This was it. This was where he eliminated Sora, and then went on to retrieve his heart…then. "Different name, same fate." He got himself into a battle stance, readying himself. He swished his weapon towards them, sending a shockwave to push Riku and Kairi backwards and created a magical barrier. This battle was between him and the Keyblade bearer.

Drawing on the power of the moon with his weapon, he felt himself gaining strength. "Can you feel it? The moon's power?" He asked, mocking them before he swept at Sora, and attacked him ferociously.

No matter how he struck at the Keyblade master, however, the kid would return his blows with more of his own, even using his own weapon against him. It unnerved him, that he might lose this battle, although he pressed forward determinedly, putting his all into this fight.

"A heart…If I had a heart…" Yes. This battle was for his heart, but more significantly for her. Because of her… she had strengthened his resolve. She deserved to be loved.

However, all was lost as Sora dealt him the final blow. "If I had a heart…"

No.

He couldn't lose.

No.

Failure.

He staggered backwards, looking up at Sora as he lost his grip on his claymore. It shattered, and he turned, limping towards the window of the Addled Impasse to look up at the moon. "Why…"

Why had he failed?

Why couldn't he…

"Kingdom Hearts…Where…"He managed, reaching out a hand to the moon. "Is my heart?" He felt himself begin to dissolve into the darkness.

No.

He had let her down.

He would never…

Ever…

Love her.

* * *

"He shouldn't have gone." She whispered, eyes narrowing as she walked down the dark alleys. _Pathetic. I'm reduced to talking to a Nobody that doesn't even talk._ She glanced back at the Berserker who was trailing behind her and sighed. It was as if there was something nagging at her, telling her that something was wrong. 

Very wrong.

She started suddenly, the same moment the Berserker disappeared into darkness, leaving her alone.

Oh god.

She felt her breaths come out in raspy gasps, her hand reaching out to grab something as her knees shook, weakening. The lesser Nobodies were extremely obedient, she knew, and they wouldn't just leave their tasks assigned to them, unless…

He was…

"No." Ayako breathed, sinking to the ground, her heart pounding violently in her chest. The sinking feeling in her stomach confirmed it; he was…

Gone.

"No." She repeated again, even as tears began to form behind her eyes. She had never ever cried before. But now, she felt utterly completely alone, hopeless, upset. It was as if her heart had begun to bleed. She knew that they would be punished, but…why this way? Why? All he wanted was his heart.

To love her.

Was that really so wrong? For a Nobody to want to love, and a Somebody to love a Nobody?

A tear ran down her cheek and she closed her eyes, forcing them backwards. _I won't cry. I can't cry._ I have to be strong. Instinctively, her hand went to her abdomen and she felt another wave of anguish hit her. Why hadn't she stopped him? Why did she have to let him go?

But more importantly, why hadn't she told him?

She had told him she loved him. He knew that, yes, but he didn't know something else, something which she had discovered only yesterday. Something that…comforted her, yet hurt her at the same time; a double-edged sword.

Maybe it was wrong for the both of them after all.

And now, she was bearing the brunt of their sins.

* * *


End file.
